I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
