well you can't waste a boner
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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