they need to just BURY HIM!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
