Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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