apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
