CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Im part way to drunk.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
