I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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