Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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