if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
