I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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