that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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