its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
