why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
