does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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