Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize