i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
