Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
