Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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