so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
