I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
