I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
