i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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