i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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