Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
