So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
