I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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