Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
