i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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