I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize