Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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