just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
