I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
