My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
