apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
