You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
