It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
