why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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