I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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