it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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