Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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