??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He has the fingertips of a God
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