North Korea, Best Korea!
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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