This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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