she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
