My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize