I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
