Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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