Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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