Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
