I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
