Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
