My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
