I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize