girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
