Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
