wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Blood and glitter go together right?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize