OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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