It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
