she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
