And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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