Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
