I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize