i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
