True but thats because hes a fetus.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
