the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
