I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
