I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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