i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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