I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize