and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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