I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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