dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
